Insomnia piece 2

Yeah, I didn't get much sleep.

"In any relationship, there is one factor far more important than communication. It is respect. Any human being deserves a level of respect which allows them to be treated as a human. People forget that even the man who lives on the street has a name, had parents and definitely has feelings. We allow ourselves to be cruel to those around us and yet how are we better than any of them? We are merely humans trying to be human and trying our hardest to make things work in a world that gives us endless crap. We think strength and character can be bought, but in truth it is when we have nothing that we learn our true capabilities. It’s when we fail and learn to try again that our character grows. We are told to throw away your dreams and flow money, survive and support your family no matter what it costs. We are taught to be unhappy, to run ourselves into the ground and for what? We are all lost, all unhappy and we taint the future generations with it. We are our own worst enemies. What money or material can you take to the grave? NONE! That is my point. Memories are all we have to take with us and even then some of them leave us. I like to believe that we remember the fondest of our memories and that we are taken to a place of joy before we pass-on.

They call me stupid, call me useless, irresponsible and weak for following my dreams, but I am the only one strong enough to not follow money. The only one brave enough to pursue my dreams in the hope of finding what I truly love. I will be the difference, I will be an outcast for it, but I don’t care. I will follow my passion and I will be the best."

He looked down at what he had written, knowing it would never be true. His shoulders slumped and his heat ached as he crumpled up the yellow piece of paper and tossed it in the bin. He sighed, composed himself and walked out the room. With the weight of the world he started his chores as his family gossiped and insulted him. Each insult stung worse than the last, but he knew to never show weakness, they would attack if he did. Silently he thought of other worlds and faraway places, hoping one day he could leave, but knowing that his family would stop at nothing to make him fail. His world was heavy, with very few hand holds, such a careful balance. He was always controlled, careful and observant. His family always dragged him under, he always got back up. Perhaps someday he would find a place where people understood him and accepted him, if such people existed. He took a deep breath and focused on the dishes, scrubbing with careful control. His family better not know he’s upset, they tend to find it unforgivable.